Updated: Apr 20, 2020
Hey there, Superstar!
Is it just me or does it feel like a month has passed by? I swear it’s only been a week… but it was one of those weeks where I’ve made the most out of every day. This is mostly because I was on a four day rafting trip on the Snake River, so I literally had no concept of time or reality.
Now that I think about this further… I may be the one with the time-warped brain here….
Four days on a river will teach you a lot about yourself. It’ll teach you how to rise and set with the sun, how to be resourceful in terms of deodorant and leggings that mask the feeling of hairy legs in a sleeping bag, it will remind you what beauty remains in this world that’s been untouched by humans. Yes, valuable lessons, indeed.
It also forces you to think… a lot.
Something that was on my mind over the last few days is my biggest weakness… having a “yes” mentality. Put less positively… the inability to say no to people and/or opportunities.
I chalk this up to my FOMO [Fear Of Missing Out]. I REALLY like to be a part of everything and being the opportunist that I am, I love the challenge of taking on something new. Usually, having a “yes” mentality is a positive thing and opens us up to experiences we would have never had before. For me, it causes me to constantly overload myself, to the point of overwhelm, usually followed by a mental breakdown.
Can anyone relate?
Additionally, I believe women have that pesky nurturing tendency that gnaws at us anytime a friend or relative asks us for help. We drop everything without a second thought of what that does to us and our current workload.
Can you relate yet?
Okay… other examples:
You take on three part-time jobs because you just quit your secure paycheck to follow your dreams and become an entrepreneur. You’re worried about the income change, so you supplement while you build up your new career.
You have a full night of “me time” planned with a bubble bath, champagne, and journaling planned, then your bestie calls with a savage need for martinis because she had a terrible day and needs girl time… “Me time” cancelled.
You plan to spend a day alone on the beach, reading, soaking up the Vitamin D, drinking soda water and not talking to a single soul. Then your sister calls to ask if you’ll babysit while she runs errands.
You really wanted to start writing a blog, so you set aside time on Sunday afternoon to set it up and write your first draft, only to cancel on yourself to attend a barbecue at your neighbors house.
You have a gym sesh planned for this afternoon and have every intention of attending… untillllll you’re overloaded by emails and a random project and decide to spend your time putting out fires instead of feeling the burn. [HA Get it?]
I could go on and on... but I know at least one of the above examples struck a chord, so I'll spare you. So here's some real talk: you think you’re being a rockstar by helping a sister out and keeping your social status up by attending every major function that your crew puts together. You think you’re slaying your job by forgoing your gym time and choosing work that, in all reality, can probably wait an hour to be dealt with. Don’t get me wrong, you are a rockstar and you are slaying your job. But what you’re also doing is hurting your self-image. You’re breaking promises to yourself and subconsciously causing stress because you’re not spending that time how you originally intended to.
Of course you want to be at the barbecue, help your sister, and feel that you have a cushion of income coming in so you can focus on your dream. However, that Sunday gathering is only keeping you from pursuing something you’ve been thinking about every day. By sacrificing your one day to yourself to gain mental clarity and refresh your energy, the rest of your week is going to be less efficient and less rewarding. By stretching yourself thin across multiple jobs, you’re dividing your energy and focus away from your one passion that you hope to make into a career. If you ready my last post, you know what you’re doing by canceling your date with the elliptical.
Here’s a fun fact for you: You are allowed to set and keep boundaries.
You aren’t a bad person for saying “no.” You aren’t a selfish person for choosing yourself.
By keeping those promises you made to yourself and by taking the time to do what YOU want to do, you’re emptying your own cup. You’re presenting a better, more patient, clearer version of yourself to the world.
You are better able to appreciate time with your nieces and nephews when you PLAN to spend that time with them. You better appreciate social gatherings when you don’t have other responsibilities lurking in the back of your mind. When you help a friend out, you can give them your full energy and attention because you are doing it on your terms and not sacrificing anything to be there.
Spoiler alert: You can’t fill an already full cup.
It’s okay to have a yes mentality and it’s okay to jump on opportunities. The key is to do so while also being respectful to yourself, your time, and by being realistic about what you can and can’t commit to.
Choose yourself, because that’s the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with <3
With love and a full glass of champagne,
- Paige J.
The Rose Gold Queen